Today I feel compelled to join these fortune-tellers, hence the remarks below. Before gazing into my crystal ball, however, I must warn readers that my oracular powers have an undistinguished past. Nonetheless, I am older now, and possibly wiser, and have as much right as the next soothsayer to toss my opinions into the game. So here goes...
In late December, many magazines and newspapers run articles reviewing the past year. A montage of photographs, quotes, and news snippets remind us of the deeds and misdeeds of the famous and the infamous, of events grand and small, of developments in music, film, art, and literature. Perhaps because the news is old, these excursions into the recent past bore the boodoodle out of me. What I do enjoy are those prognosticators who speculate on the trends and changes for the upcoming year.
Today I feel compelled to join these fortune-tellers, hence the remarks below. Before gazing into my crystal ball, however, I must warn readers that my oracular powers have an undistinguished past. Example: when I was in seventh grade and away at military school, one of my roommates returned from Christmas break with a new record he insisted I hear right away. “It’s the Beatles,” he said with great excitement, and then played “I Want To Hold Your Hand.” “So what do you think?” he asked. My reply: “They’ll never make it, Charlie. Stick to the Beach Boys.”
Nonetheless, I am older now, and possibly wiser, and have as much right as the next soothsayer to toss my opinions into the game. So here goes:
1) Assisted as usual by an ignorant press bent on twisting his remarks, Pope Francis will continue to bumfuzzle the Roman Catholic faithful with his addle-pated off-the-cuff remarks. I predict the Pope will announce that like dogs and cats, parakeets can also join the celestial choirs, that the poor have the best shot at heaven (I am always confused by this idea; if true, should we really give them financial assistance? Aren’t we then reducing their chances for a halo?), that he’ll turn the Vatican into a Catholic Disneyland replete with robotic replicas of saints and a heaven to hell roller-coaster that descends into the chambers beneath St. Peter’s, and that marriage remains a sacred institution even though we need to change our ideas of marriage. What the heck: I’ve grown to like this guy with the goofy grin. Who could possibly be upset by a comedian with such a clean act?
2) The Islamic State and other parts of the Middle East and North Africa vis-à-vis Western Europe and the United States is an easy call. The fanatics of ISIS or ISEL or whatever they call themselves will go on lopping off the heads of Christians, Jews, and journalists, burning churches, stoning adulterers, beating women, and indulging in other psychotic behavior. Other screwballs from the Religion of Peace will continue raping girls in England, intimidating the police of France and Sweden, planning terrorist attacks on America, and spouting out their cloud cuckoo land beliefs, all the while hiding behind the Western elite’s doctrines of tolerance. To be fair, the rage of Muhammad’s followers is understandable. Suppose you lived in a place where alcohol was forbidden, where there was a shortage of women eligible for marriage and the ones who were available walked around buried beneath enough cloth to open a fabric store, where certain books and movies were banned, and where poverty and ignorance were as natural as the flat bread you ate every evening? Heck, given those circumstances, I’d want to shoot up the joint too.
3) For those of you not following the news, you may be unaware that Russia is going down the tubes. The Russians have ridden a river of oil to power in the last two decades, but that river has dwindled to a mere trickle. Oh, the oil is there, but the problem is the glut of oil on the market. Right now the value of the Russian ruble has plummeted, goods have disappeared from stores, and the O recently announced even tougher trade restraints with the Russians because of the problems in the Ukraine. Putin is still popular at home, but that may change rapidly if the economy continues to tank. Yet I predict that neither Mr. Putin nor Russia is down for the count. Whatever you may think of the Russian bear, he has danced and punched with the best this year. Example: this week Putin’s government asked that the price of vodka be held artificially low, ostensibly because some poor folk might resort to making rotgut moonshine. Maybe. Or maybe Mr. Putin wants to keep everyone so tipsy they don’t notice the economic mess.
4) The United States will continue its decline as an international power. The shrunken military, President Obama’s “leadership from behind,” six years of spitting at our friends while kissing our enemies: all have played a part in weakening what some used to call the “world’s policeman.” For those of us who have grown weary of trying to reshape the politics and cultures of places like Afghanistan and Iraq, this may be good news. For certain parts of the world, however, and for global stability, this decline may be very bad news indeed. Take away law, and you take away order. We’ll see what happens once Uncle Sam has turned in his billy club and badge.
On the domestic front:
1) Having accomplished all his political goals, President Obama will head out to the links in hopes of breaking all White House records for the number of rounds played. I encourage him to do so, and you should too, because it keeps him from issuing more executive orders. In fact, I would encourage the entire Congress to join him in the golf course and leave the rest of us alone.
2) Millions and millions of Americans will continue to go to work, attend school, love their families, and respect their neighbors. They won’t riot, beat up cops, or burn down their neighborhood stores; they won’t hang out whining about how oppressed they are; they won’t judge others by their skin color.
3) Republicans will control Congress, but will as usual lack the backbone to change very much. Americans will continue to pay the high costs of corruption and overspending.
3) Federal regulatory power will continue to damage American economic growth. America is Gulliver, and the Lilliputians are the bureaucrats tying up our country in an endless web of rules ranging from school lunches to wetlands. The print edition of the Code of Federal Regulations is now 175,000 pages and still growing. Our bureaucrats are busy little beavers, and I predict that regulation will keep on strapping down the American giant.
5) Gas and oil prices will continue to fall. This is good and bad news. Lower prices for fuel are good for consumers, who will spend the excess money on other goods. Lower prices could be bad for drilling and fracking companies, because a time will come when they will be unable to make a profit. Because of their efficiency and planning, American fuel companies have not yet reached that point, but they could face hard times ahead.
6) Americans of all classes will become increasingly disgruntled with the federal government. The poor living in inner cities will either lose even more jobs or see the job market stagnate. The middle class will soon bear even heavier tax burdens caused by the changes in health care, entitlements, and amnesty in immigration.
7) Americans will continue suffering short-term memory loss. Remember Ebola?
The big crisis when the black clouds of doom hovered over the land? Is no one still dying of Ebola? Remember when the Russians took the Crimea? Are they still fighting there? Remember global warming or climate change or whatever it’s called? The sky is always falling in the halls of punditry, yes, but here we are, pouring out the bubbly and singing “Auld Lang Syne.”
I’m too pessimistic, you say? Then here’s a bit of balance. In 2015, the old globe will go on spinning; the sun will come up every morning; a hot up of coffee will still have the magic to make a cold day warmer; the young and the ambitious will still succeed; the touch of a lover will still cause the pulse to race; the laughter of children—and in my case, grandchildren—will still sound like music.
Miracles will still occur. Love will still be stronger than hate. There will still be magic in a kiss, a word, a thought.
Today I feel compelled to join these fortune-tellers, hence the remarks below. Before gazing into my crystal ball, however, I must warn readers that my oracular powers have an undistinguished past. Example: when I was in seventh grade and away at military school, one of my roommates returned from Christmas break with a new record he insisted I hear right away. “It’s the Beatles,” he said with great excitement, and then played “I Want To Hold Your Hand.” “So what do you think?” he asked. My reply: “They’ll never make it, Charlie. Stick to the Beach Boys.”
Nonetheless, I am older now, and possibly wiser, and have as much right as the next soothsayer to toss my opinions into the game. So here goes:
1) Assisted as usual by an ignorant press bent on twisting his remarks, Pope Francis will continue to bumfuzzle the Roman Catholic faithful with his addle-pated off-the-cuff remarks. I predict the Pope will announce that like dogs and cats, parakeets can also join the celestial choirs, that the poor have the best shot at heaven (I am always confused by this idea; if true, should we really give them financial assistance? Aren’t we then reducing their chances for a halo?), that he’ll turn the Vatican into a Catholic Disneyland replete with robotic replicas of saints and a heaven to hell roller-coaster that descends into the chambers beneath St. Peter’s, and that marriage remains a sacred institution even though we need to change our ideas of marriage. What the heck: I’ve grown to like this guy with the goofy grin. Who could possibly be upset by a comedian with such a clean act?
2) The Islamic State and other parts of the Middle East and North Africa vis-à-vis Western Europe and the United States is an easy call. The fanatics of ISIS or ISEL or whatever they call themselves will go on lopping off the heads of Christians, Jews, and journalists, burning churches, stoning adulterers, beating women, and indulging in other psychotic behavior. Other screwballs from the Religion of Peace will continue raping girls in England, intimidating the police of France and Sweden, planning terrorist attacks on America, and spouting out their cloud cuckoo land beliefs, all the while hiding behind the Western elite’s doctrines of tolerance. To be fair, the rage of Muhammad’s followers is understandable. Suppose you lived in a place where alcohol was forbidden, where there was a shortage of women eligible for marriage and the ones who were available walked around buried beneath enough cloth to open a fabric store, where certain books and movies were banned, and where poverty and ignorance were as natural as the flat bread you ate every evening? Heck, given those circumstances, I’d want to shoot up the joint too.
3) For those of you not following the news, you may be unaware that Russia is going down the tubes. The Russians have ridden a river of oil to power in the last two decades, but that river has dwindled to a mere trickle. Oh, the oil is there, but the problem is the glut of oil on the market. Right now the value of the Russian ruble has plummeted, goods have disappeared from stores, and the O recently announced even tougher trade restraints with the Russians because of the problems in the Ukraine. Putin is still popular at home, but that may change rapidly if the economy continues to tank. Yet I predict that neither Mr. Putin nor Russia is down for the count. Whatever you may think of the Russian bear, he has danced and punched with the best this year. Example: this week Putin’s government asked that the price of vodka be held artificially low, ostensibly because some poor folk might resort to making rotgut moonshine. Maybe. Or maybe Mr. Putin wants to keep everyone so tipsy they don’t notice the economic mess.
4) The United States will continue its decline as an international power. The shrunken military, President Obama’s “leadership from behind,” six years of spitting at our friends while kissing our enemies: all have played a part in weakening what some used to call the “world’s policeman.” For those of us who have grown weary of trying to reshape the politics and cultures of places like Afghanistan and Iraq, this may be good news. For certain parts of the world, however, and for global stability, this decline may be very bad news indeed. Take away law, and you take away order. We’ll see what happens once Uncle Sam has turned in his billy club and badge.
On the domestic front:
1) Having accomplished all his political goals, President Obama will head out to the links in hopes of breaking all White House records for the number of rounds played. I encourage him to do so, and you should too, because it keeps him from issuing more executive orders. In fact, I would encourage the entire Congress to join him in the golf course and leave the rest of us alone.
2) Millions and millions of Americans will continue to go to work, attend school, love their families, and respect their neighbors. They won’t riot, beat up cops, or burn down their neighborhood stores; they won’t hang out whining about how oppressed they are; they won’t judge others by their skin color.
3) Republicans will control Congress, but will as usual lack the backbone to change very much. Americans will continue to pay the high costs of corruption and overspending.
3) Federal regulatory power will continue to damage American economic growth. America is Gulliver, and the Lilliputians are the bureaucrats tying up our country in an endless web of rules ranging from school lunches to wetlands. The print edition of the Code of Federal Regulations is now 175,000 pages and still growing. Our bureaucrats are busy little beavers, and I predict that regulation will keep on strapping down the American giant.
5) Gas and oil prices will continue to fall. This is good and bad news. Lower prices for fuel are good for consumers, who will spend the excess money on other goods. Lower prices could be bad for drilling and fracking companies, because a time will come when they will be unable to make a profit. Because of their efficiency and planning, American fuel companies have not yet reached that point, but they could face hard times ahead.
6) Americans of all classes will become increasingly disgruntled with the federal government. The poor living in inner cities will either lose even more jobs or see the job market stagnate. The middle class will soon bear even heavier tax burdens caused by the changes in health care, entitlements, and amnesty in immigration.
7) Americans will continue suffering short-term memory loss. Remember Ebola?
The big crisis when the black clouds of doom hovered over the land? Is no one still dying of Ebola? Remember when the Russians took the Crimea? Are they still fighting there? Remember global warming or climate change or whatever it’s called? The sky is always falling in the halls of punditry, yes, but here we are, pouring out the bubbly and singing “Auld Lang Syne.”
I’m too pessimistic, you say? Then here’s a bit of balance. In 2015, the old globe will go on spinning; the sun will come up every morning; a hot up of coffee will still have the magic to make a cold day warmer; the young and the ambitious will still succeed; the touch of a lover will still cause the pulse to race; the laughter of children—and in my case, grandchildren—will still sound like music.
Miracles will still occur. Love will still be stronger than hate. There will still be magic in a kiss, a word, a thought.
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