And since to look at things in bloom
Fifty springs are little room,
About the woodlands I will go
To see the cherry hung with snow.
A. E. Housman
By the time we reach the middle of our lives, most of us have encountered Death. We have lost parents, friends, and even children to disease, accident, war or one of the many other guises worn by the watcher of us all. Sometimes, as the old blues song goes, “Death comes creepin’ at our door.” At other times Death strikes like one of those thunderbolts in a clear summer sky, blasting our world and leaving us torn and shaken by his wanton savagery.
Not so long ago Death was less a stranger than he is today. The dying met their end in their own homes surrounded by family and friends. Children fell prey to diseases before setting foot in a schoolyard. Women frequently died giving birth, and a farmer might expire from an infected scratch that today we would treat with a medicinal cream and a Band-Aid.
Unlike them, we who live in the twenty-first century in the United States see little of Death. We watch him acted out on our televisions and in our movies, and some of us enjoy electronic games where we pass the time killing enemy soldiers or vampires or droids, but in the real world most of us keep our distance from Death. We hide him in hospitals and nursing homes. We glide past him through euphemism, speaking of the dead as “being at peace” or “with the angels,” or else we casually brush aside death through raw humor, referring to the dead as having “bitten the dust” or “assumed room temperature.” Most often, we shroud Death in silence.
Until, of course, Death taps us on the shoulder.
Only then do we waken from our slumber, open our eyes, and pay attention to the lessons Death has to teach us.
Most of us would agree that to give too much of ourselves to thoughts of Death would be morbid. To ponder too deeply and incessantly the end of our lives in this world would snatch away those lives even while we breathe. Such an obsession would leave us incapacitated, filled continually by apprehension and fear.
On the other hand, to ignore the reality of Death, to live as if we will live forever, also brings consequences. We will be unprepared when the oncologist calls us into her office or when the police knock on our door at three o’clock in the morning. We are more likely to be unaware of time wasted, those hours, for example, we spent watching ball games instead of playing ball with our children. Finally, ignoring Death means we will fail to reach our own potential as human beings. It is a paradox, but until we confront the fact that we are going to die someday, we cannot become fully human.
Anyone who gives even a moment of thought to Death understands that men and women have grappled with the meaning of life and the end of life for the entire history of humankind. From the gravesites of Paleolithic hunters to the tombs found along Rome’s Appian Way, from the pyramids in Egypt to the tiny graveyard behind a Baptist church, we find philosophies and religious beliefs regarding Death marked out in stone and ceremony.
It behooves us to contemplate these philosophies and religions so as to make up our minds as to what we believe about Death, for those beliefs may in turn serve as a rudder as to how we go through life. As stated above, many people seem either heedless of death or adhere to half-baked psychologies and religions. Others are atheists who have decided that that this short span on earth, for better or worse, is all they can expect from life. Still others profess a belief in an afterlife.
What we believe about Death, then, must profoundly shape the ways we view and live our lives.
Here two short examples, both from films and both without reference to a deity, may illuminate this idea. In Gladiator, Maximus (Russell Crowe) is a former Roman general enslaved and made a gladiator. When he faces his own death, his captor taunts him and asks whether he is not afraid. Maximus responds by saying, “I knew a man once who said, ‘Death smiles at us all. All a man can do is smile back.’” In Midnight in Paris, Ernest Hemingway (Corey Stoll) tells a young acolyte, Gil Pender (Owen Wilson): “You’ll never write well if you fear dying.” (One might say instead: “You’ll never live well if you fear dying.”)
Both of these men adopt a stoic philosophy in the face of death. They recognize, as Hemingway tells the young Gil Pender, that Death “is something that all men before you have done, all men will do.”
Adopting this philosophy makes these characters more fully human. Facing Death allows them to conduct themselves in certain ways, to live by a code that ennobles their lives.
Please do not misunderstand me. I am not advocating stoicism here, though I do believe that a dose of iron stoicism can strengthen whatever other beliefs we hold.
No—my point here is that by confronting our own mortality and the mortality of those around us, by coming to terms with Death, we can engage the world with greater strength and greater passion. To know that Death will one day smile at us teaches us gratitude. It teaches us to treat each day as a gift. It teaches us to appreciate beauty, to see with greater clarity “the cherry hung with snow.”
If we allow it, Death will even teach us the importance of love.
Fifty springs are little room,
About the woodlands I will go
To see the cherry hung with snow.
A. E. Housman
By the time we reach the middle of our lives, most of us have encountered Death. We have lost parents, friends, and even children to disease, accident, war or one of the many other guises worn by the watcher of us all. Sometimes, as the old blues song goes, “Death comes creepin’ at our door.” At other times Death strikes like one of those thunderbolts in a clear summer sky, blasting our world and leaving us torn and shaken by his wanton savagery.
Not so long ago Death was less a stranger than he is today. The dying met their end in their own homes surrounded by family and friends. Children fell prey to diseases before setting foot in a schoolyard. Women frequently died giving birth, and a farmer might expire from an infected scratch that today we would treat with a medicinal cream and a Band-Aid.
Unlike them, we who live in the twenty-first century in the United States see little of Death. We watch him acted out on our televisions and in our movies, and some of us enjoy electronic games where we pass the time killing enemy soldiers or vampires or droids, but in the real world most of us keep our distance from Death. We hide him in hospitals and nursing homes. We glide past him through euphemism, speaking of the dead as “being at peace” or “with the angels,” or else we casually brush aside death through raw humor, referring to the dead as having “bitten the dust” or “assumed room temperature.” Most often, we shroud Death in silence.
Until, of course, Death taps us on the shoulder.
Only then do we waken from our slumber, open our eyes, and pay attention to the lessons Death has to teach us.
Most of us would agree that to give too much of ourselves to thoughts of Death would be morbid. To ponder too deeply and incessantly the end of our lives in this world would snatch away those lives even while we breathe. Such an obsession would leave us incapacitated, filled continually by apprehension and fear.
On the other hand, to ignore the reality of Death, to live as if we will live forever, also brings consequences. We will be unprepared when the oncologist calls us into her office or when the police knock on our door at three o’clock in the morning. We are more likely to be unaware of time wasted, those hours, for example, we spent watching ball games instead of playing ball with our children. Finally, ignoring Death means we will fail to reach our own potential as human beings. It is a paradox, but until we confront the fact that we are going to die someday, we cannot become fully human.
Anyone who gives even a moment of thought to Death understands that men and women have grappled with the meaning of life and the end of life for the entire history of humankind. From the gravesites of Paleolithic hunters to the tombs found along Rome’s Appian Way, from the pyramids in Egypt to the tiny graveyard behind a Baptist church, we find philosophies and religious beliefs regarding Death marked out in stone and ceremony.
It behooves us to contemplate these philosophies and religions so as to make up our minds as to what we believe about Death, for those beliefs may in turn serve as a rudder as to how we go through life. As stated above, many people seem either heedless of death or adhere to half-baked psychologies and religions. Others are atheists who have decided that that this short span on earth, for better or worse, is all they can expect from life. Still others profess a belief in an afterlife.
What we believe about Death, then, must profoundly shape the ways we view and live our lives.
Here two short examples, both from films and both without reference to a deity, may illuminate this idea. In Gladiator, Maximus (Russell Crowe) is a former Roman general enslaved and made a gladiator. When he faces his own death, his captor taunts him and asks whether he is not afraid. Maximus responds by saying, “I knew a man once who said, ‘Death smiles at us all. All a man can do is smile back.’” In Midnight in Paris, Ernest Hemingway (Corey Stoll) tells a young acolyte, Gil Pender (Owen Wilson): “You’ll never write well if you fear dying.” (One might say instead: “You’ll never live well if you fear dying.”)
Both of these men adopt a stoic philosophy in the face of death. They recognize, as Hemingway tells the young Gil Pender, that Death “is something that all men before you have done, all men will do.”
Adopting this philosophy makes these characters more fully human. Facing Death allows them to conduct themselves in certain ways, to live by a code that ennobles their lives.
Please do not misunderstand me. I am not advocating stoicism here, though I do believe that a dose of iron stoicism can strengthen whatever other beliefs we hold.
No—my point here is that by confronting our own mortality and the mortality of those around us, by coming to terms with Death, we can engage the world with greater strength and greater passion. To know that Death will one day smile at us teaches us gratitude. It teaches us to treat each day as a gift. It teaches us to appreciate beauty, to see with greater clarity “the cherry hung with snow.”
If we allow it, Death will even teach us the importance of love.