"‘My country, right or wrong,’ is a thing that no patriot would think of saying except in a desperate case. It is like saying, ‘My mother, drunk or sober.’"
--G. K. Chesterton
Recently, a young woman who once attended my classes chided me in an email for posting a video on this site mocking political correctness. In a thoughtful and well-written letter—I am always happy to see such skills displayed by former students—she asked that I respect various groups of people: lesbians and gays, Black Lives Matter, universities, the poor, and the mentally ill.
Her letter set me to thinking. Who or what do I respect? To whom do I owe respect? And why?
Here is a part of my original response to her.
--G. K. Chesterton
Recently, a young woman who once attended my classes chided me in an email for posting a video on this site mocking political correctness. In a thoughtful and well-written letter—I am always happy to see such skills displayed by former students—she asked that I respect various groups of people: lesbians and gays, Black Lives Matter, universities, the poor, and the mentally ill.
Her letter set me to thinking. Who or what do I respect? To whom do I owe respect? And why?
Here is a part of my original response to her.
“Now to the film I posted: I am not ‘anti-gay”. …My best college professor was gay. We remained close friends until his death about twenty-five years ago. Ed was a socialist, served part of World War II in prison as a pacifist, and was active in the civil rights movement. Given our vast political and philosophical differences, why did we get along? Love and a sense of humor. When I converted to Catholicism at age 40, Ed asked me, laughing, if I thought he was going to hell for being gay. I laughed along with him, but told him that I was more worried about my own prospects than his. Were he alived, that would still be my answer today.
“For me, that film is not about being anti-LGBT etc. It is about political correctness and free speech.
“You asked me to respect various movements and organizations and groups of people. That I cannot do. I respect you as a person because I know you. I respect a black man here in Montford to whom I have never spoken a word because he appears to be the hardest working man I know. I respect many of my students because they study and see a task through to its completion. I respect many good priests I have met.
“But I don't respect groups. I may like certain political candidates, but I never respect their parties. Having been poor and worse, in deep debt, for half of my life, I can respect a poor man's struggles, but never the poor as a group. I respect my homeschool students as individuals, but would never respect the entire homeschooling community.
“What I am saying is that I respect individuals, but that groups contain too many individuals to warrant my respect. Take my church, for example. I have known a few people who are, in my eyes, living saints. I respect them. I have known others who try and practice their faith, but fail. I respect them. Finally, I have known Catholics who were hypocrites, malicious gossips, etc. (I include myself in this group). For them I have no respect. Compassion, yes, but not respect.
“Therefore, I cannot say I even "respect" that Church which has helped save me from myself.
“In other words, I don't particularly care about race, sexuality, or any of the other labels. I do care very much about what is inside a person, which is why I respect you.”
Let me clarify these remarks to this correspondent by way of example.
I don’t owe respect to the government of the United States of America.
I don’t owe respect to the Republican Party.
I don’t owe respect to the Democratic Party.
I don’t owe respect to any particular Christian denomination.
I don’t owe respect to Islam or Buddhism or Hinduism.
I don’t owe respect to any “—ism.”
I don’t owe respect to any group because its membership is based on skin color, gender, or sexuality.
I don’t owe respect even to revered groups, like Mother Teresa’s Missionaries of Charity. Among those good nuns I am certain that sins like avarice and pride exist just as they do in the rest of us.
In a word, I don’t owe respect to groups. Why? Because groups are made up of human beings of all stripes, with some members of these groups being worthy of respect and others being worthy only of pity or contempt. (Praising or condemning entire groups of people is a risky business. In scripture Jesus Christ denounces in broad terms both the wealthy and the Pharisees, but it was a wealthy Pharisee, Joseph of Arimathea, who went to great pains to arrange Christ’s burial).
And another reason: those who want respect must earn it. For me, groups are incapable of this task.
Let me add that about half the time I don’t respect myself. In our age of selfies and bloated self-esteem, such self-contempt may be an unfashionable notion, but then fashion was never my forte. Some others may respect me, but I know my self too well to highly esteem or respect that same self.
Lest my readers think I am the most disrespectful ass on the planet, let me name some of those people and things to which I do owe respect:
My children and their spouses, for their gallantry in raising their families;
My friends who have stuck by me in good times and bad;
Certain homeschooling parents who in spite of grave trials never despair but fight daily to make a home and give their children an education;
Students who give their all to learning and who know that dreams come with a price;
People who see life as an adventure rather than as a complaint box;
People who sacrifice themselves for others, whether they be moms who give fully of themselves to their children or men like Master Sergeant Joshua A. Wheeler, who recently lost his life freeing captives from IS;
Many books by many authors, if you keep in mind that I respect the books rather than the authors;
The flag of my country;
The crucifix.
These people, ideas, and things don’t just deserve my respect. Because of who and what they are, because of what they stand for, they demand it.
“For me, that film is not about being anti-LGBT etc. It is about political correctness and free speech.
“You asked me to respect various movements and organizations and groups of people. That I cannot do. I respect you as a person because I know you. I respect a black man here in Montford to whom I have never spoken a word because he appears to be the hardest working man I know. I respect many of my students because they study and see a task through to its completion. I respect many good priests I have met.
“But I don't respect groups. I may like certain political candidates, but I never respect their parties. Having been poor and worse, in deep debt, for half of my life, I can respect a poor man's struggles, but never the poor as a group. I respect my homeschool students as individuals, but would never respect the entire homeschooling community.
“What I am saying is that I respect individuals, but that groups contain too many individuals to warrant my respect. Take my church, for example. I have known a few people who are, in my eyes, living saints. I respect them. I have known others who try and practice their faith, but fail. I respect them. Finally, I have known Catholics who were hypocrites, malicious gossips, etc. (I include myself in this group). For them I have no respect. Compassion, yes, but not respect.
“Therefore, I cannot say I even "respect" that Church which has helped save me from myself.
“In other words, I don't particularly care about race, sexuality, or any of the other labels. I do care very much about what is inside a person, which is why I respect you.”
Let me clarify these remarks to this correspondent by way of example.
I don’t owe respect to the government of the United States of America.
I don’t owe respect to the Republican Party.
I don’t owe respect to the Democratic Party.
I don’t owe respect to any particular Christian denomination.
I don’t owe respect to Islam or Buddhism or Hinduism.
I don’t owe respect to any “—ism.”
I don’t owe respect to any group because its membership is based on skin color, gender, or sexuality.
I don’t owe respect even to revered groups, like Mother Teresa’s Missionaries of Charity. Among those good nuns I am certain that sins like avarice and pride exist just as they do in the rest of us.
In a word, I don’t owe respect to groups. Why? Because groups are made up of human beings of all stripes, with some members of these groups being worthy of respect and others being worthy only of pity or contempt. (Praising or condemning entire groups of people is a risky business. In scripture Jesus Christ denounces in broad terms both the wealthy and the Pharisees, but it was a wealthy Pharisee, Joseph of Arimathea, who went to great pains to arrange Christ’s burial).
And another reason: those who want respect must earn it. For me, groups are incapable of this task.
Let me add that about half the time I don’t respect myself. In our age of selfies and bloated self-esteem, such self-contempt may be an unfashionable notion, but then fashion was never my forte. Some others may respect me, but I know my self too well to highly esteem or respect that same self.
Lest my readers think I am the most disrespectful ass on the planet, let me name some of those people and things to which I do owe respect:
My children and their spouses, for their gallantry in raising their families;
My friends who have stuck by me in good times and bad;
Certain homeschooling parents who in spite of grave trials never despair but fight daily to make a home and give their children an education;
Students who give their all to learning and who know that dreams come with a price;
People who see life as an adventure rather than as a complaint box;
People who sacrifice themselves for others, whether they be moms who give fully of themselves to their children or men like Master Sergeant Joshua A. Wheeler, who recently lost his life freeing captives from IS;
Many books by many authors, if you keep in mind that I respect the books rather than the authors;
The flag of my country;
The crucifix.
These people, ideas, and things don’t just deserve my respect. Because of who and what they are, because of what they stand for, they demand it.
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