Who Knew?: I'm A Liberal!

I am a liberal.
           
Let me clarify: I am a Classic Liberal.
           
Which sounds even better.
           
​Here is a definition of Classic Liberalism from an educational online site:

            Classical liberalism is a political ideology that values the freedom of individuals — including the freedom of religion, speech, press, assembly, and markets — as well as limited government. It developed in 18th-century Europe and drew on the economic writings of Adam Smith and the growing notion of social progress. Liberalism was also influenced by the writings of Thomas Hobbes, who argued that governments exist to protect individuals from each other. In 19th- and 20th-century America, the values of classical liberalism became dominant in both major political parties. The term is sometimes used broadly to refer to all forms of liberalism prior to the 20th century. Conservatives and libertarians often invoke classical liberalism to mean a fundamental belief in minimal government.
 
So let’s see how I do:
           
Freedom of the individual: Check
           
Freedom of religion: Check
           
Freedom of speech: Check
           
Freedom of the press: Check
           
Freedom of assembly: Check ( as long as it’s non-violent)
           
Freedom of markets: Check
           
Limited government: Double Check
           
Social progress: Check (but the term needs defining)
 
It’s funny, but for all these years some friends and family members regarded me as Conservative. I guess I just never explained myself very well. I knew about John Locke, Adam Smith, and Thomas Hobbes—I read all but Smith long ago in college and graduate school---and about Classical Liberalism, but tonight I realized these guys are my brothers. (Ok, let’s make the dyspeptic Hobbes a distant cousin.)
           
It’s also delightful and amusing to me that the above definition of Classic Liberalism rings out of every line of our Declaration of Independence and our Constitution. Again, I like the company: Jefferson, Adams, Madison, and other Founding Persons. (I am enough of a Classic Liberal to avoid sounding sexist by identifying them as Founding Persons rather than Founding Fathers.)
           
So if I am a Classic Liberal—man, I love the sound of that!—then what does that make today’s “liberals?” Are they able to check the same boxes? I have no idea. I don’t know many liberals anymore. Most of the people I now know on the Left fly under the moniker of Progressive, because who doesn’t like progress?

Unfortunately, some progressives reject freedom of religion (for Christians and Jews), freedom of speech (Google universities and free speech, and see what you find), freedom of the press (the New York Times yes, Fox News no), freedom of assembly (yes, though some ardent progressives will beat you if you disagree with them or wear a MAGA hat), freedom of markets (hell, no), and limited governments (are you kidding me, mate?). Extreme Progressives do believe in social progress with these exception: white males, families with three or more children, traditional Catholics, devout Protestants, Kanye West, gun owners, and all of Madame Clinton’s “basket of deplorables” who voted for Donald Trump.
           
Well, I am clearly not a Progressive. But I am a Classic Liberal. And I love it! I may be a party of one, but from now on that is how I intend to introduce myself: “Hi, I’m Jeff Minick, Classic Liberal, and I’m damned glad to meet you!”

Talk about riding the wave!
           
And if some of you who think this is cultural or political appropriation, I advise you to check not just your privilege, but your premises.
           
Sssspppppppwwwwwww.
           
That’s a Bronx cheer from a Classic Liberal.